John Mayer says he?s 33 percent done with building a time machine

While John Mayer is generally considered to be a douchbagging cad, I do enjoy the way he teases the paparazzi. He doesn’t freak out at them or curse them like a lot of celebs, and he doesn’t desperately court them like Paris Hilton or a few others I won’t name. But he sure knows how to stay in the papers. My favorite was when he wore the Borat tankini and read a copy of Us Weekly. And later when he mounted a sunbather and massaged him.

Stuff like that makes me think I’d really like the guy if he weren’t constantly macking on anything with two legs and two nipples. That’s right, I said macking. I went there. Oh and nipples. But I try to write that at least three times a day.

John had some funny commentary at his concert last night in St. Louis. Both People and Us Weekly were in the audience, prompting Mayer to give them some good gossip. Just not the kind they were planning on.

"[Fans] send me links from PEOPLE," he said, marveling at the coverage of his remarks the previous night when he – with Aniston in tow – joked about being the subject of Internet rumors. "That just tempts me to say things." The audience at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in the St. Louis suburb of Maryland Heights roared its approval, but Mayer would not divulge any intimate details.

Instead, he playfully peppered his nearly two-hour concert with dubious confessions designed to feed those who were curious about his private life: He fears the color green. He weighed 400 pounds when he was 12. He wrote the lyrics to the Kenny Loggins hit "Danger Zone" – at age 9. And he was "33 percent done" with building a time machine.

"When I was a child I would kill small animals and wear their teeth as necklaces," he deadpanned. "True. Print that. And I've always felt deep down that I was born a woman."

[From People]

Okay that is the second time Kenny Loggins has been mentioned on Celebitchy in under a week. I think this means he’s making a comeback, Hall Oates style. Or at least I’m rooting for one. That’s definitely my favorite piece of previously unknown – and 100% true – John Mayer gossip. Though that thing about fearing the color green – that’s probably because he saw pictures of himself in the Borat suit. That’d make me fear green too.

Here’s John Mayer performing at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset, England on June 29th. I tried to get one without him making a weird face, but it’s pretty much impossible. Photographer: Nick Pickles; Images thanks to WENN.