Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck shoot down Ted Casablanca breakup story

I'm still annoyed at Ted Casablanca for making me fall for his jargony claim that Brad and Angelina sold their New Orleans mansion. (Jaybird wrote that story, but I'm the one who sent it to her, I have to take the blame.) He said it with such conviction and used so many stupid adjectives that it just had to be true.

Well yesterday Casablanca reported in his roundabout twang that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were having trouble. Because I promised you guys that I wouldn't rely on him for information anymore, I sat on my tingling hands and didn't report it. It's now at the top of the gossip aggregate site I visit multiple times a day, WeSmirch, and I was just about to reluctantly report it when I saw the denial from their reps.

Here's what Casablanca said, and I'm rolling my eyes having to read this shit again. If you read between the lines, you can tell he's just making assumptions because they've been seen out separately in photos.

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck. Say it ain't so, baby-cakes! Nevertheless, waiting on comment now from both parties. Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps. And certainly, those who know the former Alias star well insist Ben's mama has never particularly cared for the gal who broke Michael Vartan's heart to hook up with Benny-Boy in the first place. Waiting on official PR responses to that little familial naughty nugget as, well, for what it's worth. Much has to be divided, I'm toldplanes, property. Wonder—if above baddie biz is true—if Benny-boy will be the gentleman Vartan was when he was cast aside? Let's hope. I mean, don't leave Vi-hon with the sitters too long if ya decide to hit the card tables, Mr. A!

[E! Online via Gossip Rocks]

Yes, terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt indeed. Well the reps for the Garner-Afflecks say it's 100% fabricated:

A report by E!'s Ted Casablanca that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are considering breaking up is "100% completely fabricated," Garner's rep tells Usmagazine.com.

The E! report speculated a potential split was "the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately."

But Garner's rep tells Us: "There is not one ounce of truth to it."

[From US Weekly]

I'm glad I heard that before I reported this, even with the severe disclaimer I was about to slap on it. Now I have another reason to ignore this guy other than the fact that his writing makes my head spin.

Was the brief blip in traffic worth it for Casablanca? I ask myself that very question when I post celebrity upskirts.

Ben and Jen are shown at the White House Correspondents Dinner on 4/26/08, and with their daughter Violet, two and half, registering her for "the First Presbyterian Nursery School in Santa Monica" on 6/16/08, thanks to WENN.