Heather Mills buys $5 million NY apartment

Lock up your cows: Heather Mills and her bovine mouth really are moving to the U.S. The former Mrs. Paul McCartney has purchased a $5 million condo in the West Village on Perry Street. What a disgusting, disgusting thought. I’m not 100 percent positive, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to stable a cow in an apartment building in Manhattan.

I’m not calling Mills fat, but that jaw of hers unhinges in this dramatic fashion – and at a very unseemly angle - when she’s angry (which, let’s be honest, is about 90% of the time she talks), and it makes her look just like a cow chewing its cud. Ironic for a vegan, no?

Heather Mills has splashed out over £2.5 million on a New York apartment.

The former model - who won £24.3 million in her divorce settlement from Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney - will be living in the same exclusive area as fashion designer Calvin Klein and actress Nicole Kidman.

A real estate expert said: "It's a very special property. She will have important neighbours." The apartment is in the prestigious 173 Perry Street block, designed by architect Richard Meier.

It is located in the city's West Village area and lies just half a mile from a store owned by Heather's ex-stepdaughter, fashion designer Stella McCartney. British-born Heather will live in the apartment with her four-year-old daughter Beatrice, from her marriage to Paul.

[From Female First]

Supposedly Heather is moving to New York because she is tired of the way the London press treats her. Always the victim, no? Heather’s completely unaware that the press hates her because of her horrible attitude – and if she doesn’t change that, New York won’t be any kinder to her.

Now that I know Heather’s address, I plan on parking myself outside her building wearing a sandwich board that says “Eat Heather Mills, Not Cows,” on it. She really can’t argue with it; my message is still vegan-friendly.

Here’s Heather Mills at the 'Thank the Monkey' Book Party at the SoHo Grand in New York on April 26th. I really wish there were more information on the last photo; I can't even imagine what's going on there. It seems Heather's trying to ingratiate herself to New York City. Good luck. Images thanks to WENN.